I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With – 7/10

The 7/10 rating is always standing on the fence between “pretty good” and “one time watch”, and this movie almost stepped over to “one time watch”. Jeff Garlin is on his game as usual, and the movie was very easy to watch with a simple plot that revolved around Garlin’s character’s bad eating habits and general failures in his life. His character wanders around through different moments within an unspecified time frame which is probably no more than a few days or a week.

The supporting cast was fun and they all did their jobs. Garlin’s character’s friend, the father of the little girl he picks up from school at the end, looked a lot like Adrian Brody and I thought I’d mention it because seriously, they could be brothers.

A couple quick positive things that don’t really have anything to do with my viewing experience: the poster is actually really cool to me and the DVD menu was really fun to watch. It took me a few minutes, but I slowly realized that the graphics over the picture were supposed to make it look like blocks of cheese. You’ll see what I mean if you ever watch the film. Also, I’d like to point out something else random… the music reminded me an awful lot of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and really, parts of the film were sort of like less funny versions of bits they might have scattered throughout that show.

Anyway, it’s not anything spectacular, but I wasn’t really expecting it to be. I’m glad I saw it, but can’t really imagine myself seeing it again any time soon.

Cassandra’s Dream – 9/10

While not nearly as unpredictable as Match Point, Cassandra’s Dream was another “hit” for Woody Allen in my book. And, as usual, Ewan McGregor showed off his incredible skills. Colin Farrell was actually really good in this as well… I mean, really REALLY good. They worked so well together. And let me just say a few words about the small part that Tom Wilkinson played. More please. He was SO GOOD. I LOVED his character. The scene with him, EM, and CF under the trees was probably the best scene of the whole movie to me.

The story is another drama thriller with hints of WA’s comedy stylings. This is becoming a bit of a phase for WA, and I, for one, am happy about it. He’s headed in a really great direction. The UK is a magical place, I’m telling you.

There was no doubt the whole way through that this was a Woody Allen production, but that’s fine with me. It’s like Wes Anderson. I don’t care if he keeps making the same movie until the day he dies. Every one will be amazing. Woody Allen seems like his “thing” will wear thin faster, but he’s on a roll now, and I don’t see the black hole at the end of the road for him yet. I just realized that WA stands for both Woody Allen and Wes Anderson. Hah.

The ending to this film was really great, and I loved watching them get there. I honestly thought this was going to have some sort of mysterious Eternal Sunshine like elements to it… don’t know why. The title just made me think “fantasy” or “dream sequences”.

Quick spoiler…

Even though that wasn’t the case, I really stopped being bothered by that about five minutes in when I saw the direction it was headed.

The Thing – 9/10

Hooray! Another alien/thriller/horror movie that I love the crap out of! This was a great surprise for me. I didn’t think I wasn’t going to like it… but I had no idea it would be this good. Clearly, The X-Files owes this movie a thing or two for the episode “Ice”.

The slightly slow to really get started thing was present in this film, and as with all the other films that use this technique, it just works. I mean, you get into it a little, but you don’t really get the full gist until halfway through or so.

The concept is just so cool. Now I haven’t seen the original, and I probably should, but it is shocking that this is a remake because it’s just so fantastic, and that usually can’t be said of remakes.

The ice shots were actually really stellar to me, and I love it when someone has to go through the most absurdly insane things to come out on the other side… and when you aren’t quite sure if they are going to make it, even in the end.

The creatures were really neat and new (I guess I can’t say “new” because it’s a remake but you know…) Also, Kurt Russell was so cool. His character was so simultaneously badass and smooth. His hair and clothes come in at the top of the list for me.

Oh, and I just found the word “havoc” in the description of this movie on Yahoo’s movie page… that’s a great word for this film.

Oh crap, I almost forgot. Wilford freaking Brimley is in this movie. Do you know how that makes me feel? Just… I mean, I’m smiling thinking of it. That guy is dope.

One more actor deserves mention and that’s T.K. Carter. Thanks for the good times.

So yeah. I’ll be buying this one for surez.

The Ten – 8/10

I watched this movie on Netflix Watch Now. It was a fine film.

It’s basically 10 short films with a running thing in between each one. Some of the characters repeat or come back into the stories, and the stories are relatively original for the most part. The weak moments are quickly overcome by the hilarious ones and it all pretty much evens out to a ‘pretty good’.

The best shorts have to be the envy one and the murder one. Both had me wanting to buy the film just for those. I laughed so hard at the envy one. It was original, hilarious, and incredibly well done. All the obvious jokes that you assumed were coming were replaced with things you didn’t really see coming at all, completely weird things, but amazing things all the same. That’s the thing about this movie… the weirder it got, the more I got into it. And it got pretty darn weird.

The musical bits were one of the weaker points, and honestly, Paul Rudd’s segments weren’t exactly gold, surprisingly… Also, the jail short and bits of a few of the others weren’t on par with the rest which brought the whole vibe down from what would otherwise have been a solid 9/10.

It’s definitely worth the watch. The thing about shorts is that if you don’t like one, you just have to wait a few minutes. And trust me, the wait through the weak ones is well worth it for the great bits.

Oh, and I just have to say, that black judge made me cry. So. incredibly. hilarious. That’s pretty much all I’ll think about for the next week. Honestly, if nothing else about the movie was worthwhile, I’d still tell you to watch it just for her. Amazing.

Venus – 5/10

I didn’t really know anything about this movie at all when I watched it, just that it was on the list of Oscar nominations, and I was trying to see all the nominated movies (unsuccessfully) before the Oscars aired. Turned out I was on a plane from Charlotte to LAX when the Oscars aired anyway… oh well.

So, the story of “Venus” was something that I have seen done quite a bit before at this point, and in this particular case, the film didn’t really offer too many new ideas. Although the acting was very good, the story didn’t really go anywhere that I wasn’t expecting it to. I found myself entertained for the most part, but my reaction to the film overall was nothing more or less than “meh”. A much better and much more original version of this type of movie can be found in Harold & Maude or Rushmore.

The ending was obviously predictable, and honestly, pretty much every step of this movie was just as predictable. All said and done, I wouldn’t rewatch this film or recommend it. But I suppose I’m glad I saw it? Well, maybe not really. It wouldn’t make a difference either way.

Bowfinger – 8/10

I’m sorry, guilty pleasure or not, this movie is pretty hilarious. Steve Martin actually does a fantastic job at being funny in this movie… I say “actually” because this movie rides dangerously close to his loser days… you know, the days he’s in now… Bowfinger came out in 1999, which was kind of late in the game for SM’s “funny” days.

But… then there’s Eddie Murphy… who freaking steals the show here. Um, so hilarious. The scene with him running out into traffic KILLS me. And I find myself saying “keep it together, keep it togther” rather frequently. A more appropriate way to write that would be “keepittogether, keepittogether”.

So, yeah, this DVD is on my shelf. It’s a lovely time and easy to watch, and SM & EM are great together. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I love it when someone plays more than one character in a movie. Fantastic.

Bring It On – 2/10

Perhaps you are wondering why I gave this movie this high of a rating. The only reason? Ian Roberts. He was fantastic. It was awkwardly good actually. The rest of the movie was a 0.5/10 at best. But IR’s tiny little scene made me practically cry with laughter a couple times.

Anyway, I don’t have to say much to convince anyone not to see this film. I don’t know why anyone would see it unless you are a 10-13 year old girl. So… yeah. Stay away. Watch IR’s scene online if you can though. That crap is golden.

Oh, and Kirsten Dunst couldn’t even save this. And she’s good sometimes… but then she goes and does things like this… sad, really.

Badlands – 9/10

I almost gave this movie a 10/10, so maybe I’ll end up coming back to it and changing it later after I see it again or have more time to think about all the awesomeness that is this movie. I really don’t know where to start. I wasn’t sure what I’d think. I really didn’t care for The New World… but even though that didn’t really sway me initially one way or the other, I didn’t expect it to be so exciting and entertaining the whole way through… I thought it would have its slow boring parts. But no, it did not.

I can’t really say enough about the cinematography. Beautiful. Pretty much every single shot. Here’s the other thing – the plot is actually really new, and honestly, I was really with the characters and loved them and got into their relationship and struggles and adventures. The violence was meaningful and… I want to use a word that’s not as lame as “poetic”, but you get my point here.

I also came to love Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek. SS isn’t bad at all, always liked her a lot, but I never cared especially one way or another for Martin Sheen. But after seeing this movie? Nevermind. He’s dope.

So yeah, I’m buying this as soon as I get the opportunity. Oh, and one final thought, I practically cried at the end… like, tears were welling up and the screen was getting blurry…

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters – 7/10

Hm. I mean, this was interesting. Different. Funny at times. Ridiculous that these people were actually real. But… entertaining the whole way through and something I’m likely to watch over and over? No.

I’m still relatively stunned that these are real people. Some of the stuff they shot here… I mean seriously. That’s just nuts. Billy is the craziest character-who-is-not-actually-a-character… of all time. I mean, he’s a real guy and that’s how he really acts! It’s subtle at times, which makes it ten times funnier. I mean hot sauce and Donkey Kong together make his life. That’s the most hilarious combination of things of all time.

The crazy bits about things going too far… those were the best parts. But some of the interview shots, etc, were just the same old thing done again. The subject matter just happens to be more interesting than a lot of documentary subjects. And some of the bits they included seemed really forced even if they weren’t.

In any event, I saw this and laughed and was relatively into it because of the characters and because of exactly what it was that they were taking so seriously. You might as well see it. I’m not going to tell anyone to rush out or anything.

Semi-Pro – 6/10

I really hate it that I don’t love this movie. I didn’t necessarily expect to give it a 10/10 or anything, but this was a bit of a disgrace honestly. The best parts where Will Arnett and Andrew Daly… I dunno. I mean, I laughed a few times… I cracked up a few times pretty hardcore actually, but it just didn’t keep me interested. The plot has been done, done, done, and now done again. Seriously. How many sports movies are going to go like this? You know all the cool crazy stuff in the trailer? Yeah, well it pretty much stops there unfortunately. If they had stuck to that wacky idea, just creating crazy parties out of the basketball games, I would have been all there. But when they tried to throw in the usual competition at the end of the movie and the ‘they-really-need-to-win’ thing… and then when they tried to squeeze a sort of serious relationship story, but wait, we can’t get too serious so there’s a bit of a weird thing with this girl’s boyfriend liking to watch, I mean… yeah. I wasn’t into it at all. Woody H… Uh… no thanks, please. Please and thanks.

So, disappointing overall, not something I’ll really watch again, unless someone makes an “only the funny parts” cut and puts that out on DVD.